On Gentleness and Routine.

One day as I was perusing around the bookshelves at the library, I came across a book called Small Move, Big Change by Caroline Arnold. She talked about the concept of micro-resolutions as a way to make lasting improvements in our lives. Here were the basic rules she gave:

  1. it has to be a really small and specific step.
  2. it has to sound fun or interesting to try.
  3. it has to be something easy for you to do.

I found this to be such an interesting and daring approach. What if, instead of pushing myself to do big things i don’t really want to do, I focused on things that sounded easy? What would happen then?

For example. I lived in a spiritual community where every day we woke up at 4:30am. It may sound intense, but it really didn’t feel that difficult, because everyone was doing it together. We were used to winding down by 8pm in the evenings, and it was part of our daily flow. It was a great feeling to be up that early in the morning during brahmamuhurti, a sacred, quiet time in the morning before the sun rises. There was a sense of depth to my days when I would give myself this time to be still and be present with myself, before moving outside in the world.

Being in a different season of life now, this practice has gradually slipped out of my daily routine. At first it was occasional sleep-ins on the weekend after a late night with friends. Then it got pushed back to 5:30, 6, 6:30 am. A couple weeks ago I noticed that I’ve been on a regular schedule of getting out of bed around 7:30 am, leaving me just enough time to make breakfast, get ready, and leave for work for the day. I’ve been feeling a sense of shallowness in my mornings, and finding myself wanting to get back to the deep reverence of the darkness before dawn. But so far every day, the snooze button has been the routine.

So here’s where it stands:

Resolution: I would like to get up earlier in the mornings.

Dilemma: I like the idea, but when the time comes, i don’t get up.

Let’s try out the micro-resolution principles to see if they can help.

  1. A really small and specific step. Instead of striving for every day, I’ll begin with weekdays. Giving myself some depth time before work.
  2. Something easy for you to do. 5 days a week sounds like a lot right now. How about 3 days/week? That sounds reasonable. I’ve been getting up at 7:30 a.m. these days. How about 6:30 a.m.? The goal of getting out of bed at 6:30am, 3 days a week. I feel like I could do this.
  3. Is this something I actually want to do? Does it sound interesting? Definitely. Getting back into the routine of being up early is something I’ve been wanting for a while now.

This micro-resolution feels spacious, easy, and good. While it might not be the perfect ideal of practices every day at 5am, it moves me back in that direction; and it’s 3 more hours each week of depth time than the current situation. I feel energized to give it a go. Once this becomes routine, I can see if I’m ready for more. But first, this very real, very small, very easy step. And if this turns out to be too much or I don’t do it, I’ll take a step back; make it easier. And see what happens.

What about you? Do you have a resolution or routine you would like to change? And is there a tiny, practical step in that direction that feels easy to try?

Often, I’ve seen that the initial response to Ayurveda can be a sense of overwhelm. For most people, it is a big reorientation to ground back into the rhythms of nature. During consultations, I like to help people pick 1-2 things that sound easy, reasonable, and that they are interested to try. Once those feel comfortable, then we can find 1-2 more things to experiment with in the direction of wellbeing. And so on.

Ahimsa is a Sanskrit word that means “nonviolence.” It is a way of approaching life with gentleness and respect. So often, in diets, exercise regimes, and lifestyle updates, we tend to push ourselves to get to the goal; we fight ourselves to not reach for the cookie, the drink, the snooze button. But what if we approached our goals with gentleness? What if we turned our attention to things that felt easier?

p.s., I meant to complete this blog post in January. Of last year. Now it’s mid-February in 2023. What happened? I had multiple ideas brewing at the same time. When I’d think of doing one of them, I’d think of all of them. And I wanted them all to be perfect. Hence, here we are. Thanks Caroline Arnold for helping me get to the end of this sentence.

Interested in finding a couple easy steps you can take towards feeling better in your daily life? Send me a message to book a consultation. 🙂

Dwelling on the bottom of the ocean.

When I was in college, some days I would get up before dawn. In the quiet morning light, I would slip out of my dorm room, up behind the buildings where my peers were sleeping. I would walk barefoot, to feel the coolness of the earthen trail under my feet. I climbed up to the top of the hill behind the campus, where there was nearly a complete view — dorms, fields, classrooms, treetops. Beyond stretched the expanse of the Pacific ocean, a view that was continually incredible and wonderful. As I sat and looked out, I would feel a sense of ease as the day began. All of the papers, deadlines, social connections, events, all of that existed in that bubble down there; it had its being-ness, and there was life beyond it. Looking beyond helped me to remember the greater connection of life that I was a part of. All of the anxieties, stress and insecurities I had in this chapter of my life, remained down there, in the bubble. Up here, I was just myself, looking out at the ocean. As the sun rose and grew warm on my back, gradually there would be movement down below; a custodian golf cart here, a morning jogger there. I would have a good stretch, and walk back down to the campus with gentleness, ready to begin the brand new day.

These days, when life gets busy, I don’t have a hill that I climb for perspective, but I have another practice that brings me relief. When it feels like life is getting swirly and out of control, I imagine myself detaching from the reality I am living in, and going to sit at the bottom of the ocean. I go down there (with my imaginary gills), root down on the ocean floor next to the coral, and observe life happening above me. The creatures going about their business, the wind and the waves interacting up above. As I see everything happening above me, I feel a sense of calm. I can be still, and be me, and let everything else continue on.

Sometimes, I even imagine myself heading into outer space, and I go and “sit” on Saturn, one of the Last Planets of the Light. I lean back and gaze into our solar system, watching the events as they unfold.

If you are ever feeling overwhelmed by your life, try finding a place where you can step back and observe. For me, the perspective brings relief, and a renewed acceptance of life as it is.



With a nod to Dan Siegel, who also practices deep ocean contemplation.

Vande gurunam

When I lived in the Hale Pule community, every Saturday morning began with a practice of 108 sun salutations. It was a practice of creating space, releasing old energy from our bodies. To begin, we would say the Vande Gurunam mantra, to honor the lineage of teachers who brought us the teachings.

As I begin this offering, I take a moment to give gratitude to the many beings who have brought light into my life: to my family, my first teachers; to all of my schoolteachers and professors, for your wisdom and inspiration; to the yogis and sages who have come before me; to my friends, steady lights carrying me along the journey; to seeming opponents, for how we helped one another to grow. To the artists and the brave ones creating their own path, and to those willing to learn and grow in public view. To Mary Oliver, for remembering the beauty of nature. To all of the plants and animals, for their purity of being; to the earth, the ocean and the moon; to the sun and the wind, for keeping the cycle of life continuing ever present. To all of the spirits and beings on the other side of the physical realm, for your inspiration, encouragement, and occasional mischief. To the guru that resides within me, and the Guru that surrounds us all. To all of us in this experience of life, I give reverence.